This Men’s Health Week and Loneliness Awareness Week, we’re encouraging people to make space for more meaningful conversations and stronger connections.

Loneliness isn’t simply being alone - we can be surrounded by people, but still feel lonely. Loneliness can be described as feeling like you lack companionship and connection or feeling disconnected and unheard. There can be a stigma attached to loneliness, but it’s something that millions of people across the UK are currently struggling with.

If you’re looking to build new relationships and stronger connections, here are five tips…

Building real connections

  1. Be genuinely interested in others

    One of the simplest ways to build stronger connections with people is to be genuinely interested in them. Asking questions and being actively engaged in what the other person shares with you can make all the difference. Taking an interest in someone’s life outside of work, their hobbies and loved ones can be a good way to start. Stay curious and remember what people have already shared with you about their life.

    Here are some conversation starters:
    - What did you get up to at the weekend?
    - What are you looking forward to at the moment?
    - What’s been keeping you busy lately?

  2. Conversations for connection

    Have you ever had a conversation with someone who isn’t properly listening to you? Or who is just waiting for their turn to speak… or worse, speaks over you? This can make you feel like what you’re saying doesn’t matter.

    A meaningful conversation is two-way, so both people get their turn to speak and be listened to. Try active listening, which means not just waiting for your turn to speak. It means asking the other person questions, listening to understand, nodding along to what they are saying and asking follow-up questions. It means genuinely being and showing that you’re interested in what the other person is saying. You can find out more in our article about making long-lasting friendships.

    Steven Covey talks about 5 levels of listening:
    - Ignoring - not listening
    - Pretending to listen – you look like you’re listening but you’re not really
    - Selective listening – hearing parts of the conversation but not all of it
    - Attentive listening – paying attention and focusing on the words being said
    - Empathic listening – listening with the intention to really understand the other person’s and the feelings behind their words.

  3. Sharing and opening up

    For many people, and men in particular, opening up can feel difficult. But sharing and being vulnerable doesn’t have to start with a big conversation, it can start with smaller things such as discussing a challenging day at work, or a problem you could do with some help solving. Sharing things about ourselves can be hard, but when you do, you might find that others are dealing with similar issues or they might be able to offer support. Sometimes just being listened to can really help. And, remember, if you need us, Ben is here for you.

  4. Check in

    If you know someone is going through something or you haven’t heard from them in a while, make some time to check in with them. Sometimes it’s easier to do this side by side rather than face to face – in the workshop, walking to the car park. If they say they’re OK but you’re not sure they are, ask them again and tell them that Ben is here for them if they need us. If they brush it off, try again in a few days. They can get in touch in a number of different ways via www.ben.org.uk/gethelp.

    Here are some ways to check in:
    - How’s life been treating you lately – honestly?
    - You’ve not seemed like yourself recently – how are you doing?
    - Fancy grabbing a coffee? (indirect but could make space for someone to open up).

  5. More support for loneliness

    You can find out more about loneliness on our web page, www.ben.org.uk/loneliness.

  6. More support for communication skills

    We also offer a free and confidential Life Coaching service which can help people build stronger relationships and connections with others.

Help us build a community

You don’t have to do this alone. Get involved in the Ben community and connect with people who understand: www.ben.org.uk/community.