How to support a parent through grief

Supporting someone you love through grief is never easy, and when that person is your parent, it can feel particularly painful. Not only are you witnessing their heartbreak, but you may also be grieving for the same person.

Grief affects everyone differently. Some people need to talk openly and often, while others withdraw and take time to process privately. The relationship your parent had with the person who has died, whether a partner, friend, or family member, will also shape their experience.

There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, but there are ways you can gently support your parent while also taking care of yourself.

Supporting your parent

Your presence and understanding can make a huge difference. Here are some ways you can help your parent through their loss:

  • Make time for them. Spend time together, even quietly. You don’t always need to talk, just being there can be comforting.
  • Share your grief. It can help to talk about memories, feelings, or even the challenges you’re both facing.
  • Listen with compassion. Allow them to talk about the person they’ve lost, as often as they need to. You don’t need to have answers, just listen.
  • Be patient. Grief doesn’t follow a schedule. Your parent’s emotions may change from one day to the next, try not to take their moods personally.
  • Offer practical support. Small things like preparing a meal, helping with paperwork, or driving them to appointments can be a huge help.
  • Encourage gentle self-care. Suggest things that might bring comfort, a walk, a cup of tea, or time with friends.
  • Acknowledge important dates. Anniversaries, birthdays, or special occasions can be particularly hard. Remembering them shows your parent that their loss matters to you too.

If you live far away, you can still offer meaningful support. Phone calls, messages, and video chats can help your parent feel connected and less alone.

If you’re worried about their physical or emotional health, you can contact their GP for advice or encourage your parent to do so, many practices offer phone or video consultations.

Taking care of your parent, and yourself

Grief can be draining. You may feel torn between wanting to protect your parent and needing time to process your own emotions. Remember:

You can’t pour from an empty cup, caring for yourself helps you care for your parent too.

Here are some ways to support both of you during this time:

Looking after your parent

Looking after yourself

Make sure they’re eating well and getting enough rest

Eat well, stay hydrated, and try to keep a routine

Encourage gentle exercise or getting outdoors

Go for walks or spend time in nature, it helps ease stress

Help them connect with friends, family, or community groups

Talk to friends, a counsellor, or join a bereavement support group

Offer to help with day-to-day tasks when they feel overwhelmed

Give yourself permission to rest and take breaks

Remind them it’s okay to cry, laugh, or talk about their loved one

Express your own feelings, writing things down or talking can help

Check in with their GP if you’re worried about their health

Tell your own GP if you’re struggling emotionally or physically

When to seek more help

Sometimes grief can feel too heavy to manage alone. If your parent seems withdrawn, hopeless, or is struggling to cope for an extended period, they may benefit from professional support such as counselling or bereavement therapy.

You might find support helpful too. Grieving together can strengthen your bond, but you each need space to heal individually.

Remember: healing takes time

Grief doesn’t have a fixed timeline, it changes shape over time. Some days will feel lighter, others heavier. What matters most is compassion, for your parent, and for yourself.

Be gentle with each other. Keep talking, keep listening, and remember that love, even when it hurts, can be a source of healing.

If you need more support, we’re here for you. You can chat with us online or call 08081 311 333 to speak with someone who understands.

You don’t have to go through this alone.