Grief is one of the hardest experiences we encounter, and there’s no right or wrong way to go through it. Everyone grieves differently, and healing takes time. While you may not feel in control of much right now, there are gentle ways to look after yourself during this painful period.

Below are some suggestions that may help you cope, find moments of ease, and feel less alone.

Allow yourself to feel what you feel

Grief can bring a wave of emotions, sadness, anger, guilt, shock, numbness or even relief. All of these reactions are normal.

  • If you feel sad, let the tears come, crying can release emotional pressure.
  • If you feel angry, express it safely: punch a cushion, do something physical, scream into a pillow, go for a fast walk.
  • Try writing things down. Keeping a diary can help you process emotions you may not be ready to say out loud.
  • Don’t judge yourself for your reactions, grief isn’t tidy or predictable.

Talk about your feelings

Speaking things aloud can help you feel lighter and less overwhelmed.

  • Talk to someone you trust, a friend, partner, colleague or family member.
  • If talking feels too difficult, try texting or writing instead.
  • If you feel you can’t open up to someone you know, we’re here. Chat with us online or call our helpline on 08081 311 333.

You don’t have to carry this alone.

Talk about the person who died

Some people worry that mentioning the person who died will make things harder, but talking about them can be comforting.

  • Share stories and memories.
  • Say their name.
  • Look through photos or listen to music you associate with them (only if this feels right).

Avoiding conversation about them can leave you feeling isolated. Talking keeps their memory present and acknowledged.

Take care of yourself in simple, gentle ways

It can be difficult to look after yourself when everything feels heavy, but small acts of care make a difference.

Try to:

  • Eat regular meals, even if they’re simple
  • Keep drinking water
  • Rest when you can, even if sleep is broken
  • Move your body, a walk outdoors can help reduce stress
  • Keep to a basic daily routine

Simple self-care ideas while grieving

Area of wellbeing

Helpful actions

Why it helps

Sleep & rest

Short naps, calming bedtime routine, reducing screen time

Helps restore emotional energy

Nutrition

Easy meals, fruit, smoothies, eating small amounts often

Stabilises mood + energy

Movement

Walking, stretching, light exercise

Reduces tension + supports sleep

Calm

Deep breathing, grounding techniques, quiet time

Helps manage overwhelming feelings

Connection

Talking with friends/family, online bereavement groups

Reduces isolation

Stay connected with others

Grief can make you want to withdraw from others, but staying in touch, even in small ways, can help.

Try:

  • Meeting a friend for a short walk
  • Speaking to someone on the phone
  • Sending a message saying you’re struggling
  • Accepting help when it’s offered

You don’t need to be cheerful. Just being around others, or letting them support you, makes a difference.

Keep active where you can

You might not feel motivated to do anything, and that’s normal. But gentle activity can create moments of relief.

  • Try to keep some routine, even if it’s small (e.g., showering each morning or stepping outside daily).
  • Choose simple tasks like watering plants, tidying one drawer or making a cup of tea.
  • Distraction is not avoidance, sometimes it gives your mind space to breathe.

Avoid short-term ‘fixes’

Alcohol, drugs, gambling or other numbing behaviours can feel like they offer relief, but they often make grief harder in the long term.

If you notice yourself relying on these, reach out, to us, or to someone you trust.

Give yourself time to adjust

Losing someone changes your life. It takes time to adjust to the way things are now.

  • You may need to learn tasks the other person used to do, such as cooking, DIY, finances or childcare.
  • Ask for help, it’s okay to need support.
  • Try tackling one thing at a time. You don’t have to manage everything at once.

There is no timeline for grief. Take things at a pace that feels manageable.

Be gentle with yourself on special occasions

Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and other significant days can bring up strong emotions, especially in the first year.

Here are some ways to look after yourself:

  • Make a plan for the day
  • Spend time with supportive people
  • Create a small ritual (lighting a candle, visiting a favourite place)
  • Give yourself permission to say “no” to events or invitations
  • Allow yourself moments of joy, they don’t mean you miss your loved one any less

Do whatever feels right for you. There’s no “correct” way to honour your loss.

Your life will change, and that’s okay

Life won’t be the same without the person you’ve lost, but over time many people find that:

  • The grief becomes less constant
  • Bad days become less intense
  • They can enjoy life again without forgetting the person they lost

Feeling better doesn’t mean you’ve moved on, it means you’re learning to live alongside your grief.

If you’ve recently lost someone, we’re here for you

Grief can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to go through it on your own.

If you need to talk, anytime, chat with us online or call our helpline on 08081 311 333.
We’re here to listen, support you and help you cope in the ways that suit you.