Losing a loved one is one of life’s most difficult experiences. Everyone grieves differently, and there is no "right" or "wrong" way to experience loss. Sometimes just being present is enough, but there are other ways you can offer meaningful support during this challenging time.

1. Let them know you’re there

Simply letting someone know you are available can provide immense comfort. Even if you don’t have the perfect words, your presence matters.

Practical tips:

  • Send a message or call to say you’re thinking of them.
  • Be specific: "I’m here if you want to talk or need company."
  • Avoid platitudes like “They’re in a better place” unless you know this is comforting to them.

What to say:

It’s more important to say something than nothing. If you’re unsure, try phrases such as:

  • "I don’t know what to say, but I am so sorry for your loss."
  • "I am thinking of you and your family during this difficult time."
  • "They were such a wonderful person and will be deeply missed."
  • "I can’t imagine how devastated you feel, but I am here for you."

2. Sit and listen

Grieving individuals often need someone to simply listen. They may want to share memories, express sadness, or even sit in silence.

Active listening tips:

  • Use small verbal acknowledgments: "I hear you," "Yes,".
  • Paraphrase or summarise what they say to show understanding.
  • Resist the urge to offer advice unless asked.

Allow silence; it’s okay to just be there.

3. Ask, don’t assume

Everyone experiences grief differently, and it can change from day to day. Asking rather than assuming is key.

Questions to consider:

  • "How are you feeling today?"
  • "Would you like some company, or would you prefer some time alone?"
  • "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Tip:
Avoid pushing them to "move on" or "get over it." Grief is a process, not a deadline.

4. Offer practical help

Grief can make everyday tasks feel overwhelming. Small gestures of practical support can make a big difference.

Area

Examples of support

Daily essentials

Cooking meals, grocery shopping, running errands

Household tasks

Cleaning, laundry, pet care

Transportation

Driving to appointments, bank, funeral services

Childcare

Babysitting, helping children with school routines

Funeral & legal assistance

Accompanying them to appointments, helping with arrangements

Social aupport

Attending support groups, joining them in hobbies or activities

5. Encourage gentle distractions

Sometimes, gentle distractions can offer a brief reprieve from grief. Suggesting activities they enjoy can provide comfort:

  • Going for a walk or light exercise
  • Watching a favourite film or TV show
  • Playing a game, doing a hobby, or creative activity
  • Spending time in nature
  • Short day trips or weekend breaks if they feel ready

Always ask first, grieving people may have fluctuating energy and interest.

6. Share available support services

No one has to cope with grief alone. You can help by informing them of available support:

Ben Support Services:

  • Free, confidential helpline: 08081 311 333
  • Online chat support available for automotive industry workers and their families

Other Support Services:

NHS Choices:

7. Keep checking in

Grief doesn’t have a timeline. Many people find support fades after the initial weeks. A quick message, phone call, or visit weeks or months later can show ongoing care and understanding.

Key Takeaways

  1. Presence is powerful, just being there matters.
  2. Listen more than you speak.
  3. Ask what they need rather than assuming.
  4. Offer practical help, it’s often more useful than words.
  5. Encourage gentle activities and self-care.
  6. Share professional support resources.
  7. Check in regularly; grief doesn’t end quickly.

Supporting someone through grief takes patience, empathy, and understanding. Even small gestures of kindness can help someone feel less alone during one of life’s most difficult experiences.