How to make long-lasting friendships

Friendships are one of the most rewarding parts of life. Having people we can truly connect with makes us happier, healthier, and more resilient when things get tough. But making—and keeping—friends as an adult can feel harder than it used to. The way we socialise has changed too, which can make meeting new people or staying in touch more challenging.

The good news? With a little intention and care, you can build strong, long-lasting friendships that bring joy and support into your life. Here are some practical tips to help you get started.

Be yourself

The best friendships are built on authenticity. When you show up as your true self, you naturally attract people who share your values, interests, and sense of humour. Pretending to be someone you’re not might help you fit in at first, but it won’t create the deep connection you’re looking for.

Try joining groups or activities that genuinely interest you—walking groups, book clubs, sports teams, creative workshops. Shared enthusiasm makes it easier to bond with people.

Make the first move

Someone has to take the first step, and often others are just as nervous as you are. Reaching out can feel daunting, but it’s how friendships begin.

If you discover a shared interest, suggest doing it together—trying out a new restaurant, going to a class, or catching a film. Small gestures matter too. If a colleague or neighbour seems stressed, inviting them for a cuppa or a short walk could spark a new connection.

Helpful link: Meetup.com is a great way to find local activities and groups.

Practise active listening

Good friends don’t just talk—they listen. Active listening means giving someone your full attention, asking thoughtful follow-up questions, and resisting the urge to interrupt. It shows genuine care.

Research suggests that talking about ourselves activates the brain’s reward centres, so people naturally enjoy spending time with someone who listens well. Just remember to share a little about yourself too—connection works both ways.

Make time for your friends

Building a friendship is just the beginning; maintaining it is where the real effort lies. Friendships need regular care, just like anything that matters.

  • Aim to check in with friends every couple of weeks, even if it’s just a quick text.
  • Share small, everyday things—funny memes, TV moments you both enjoy, or a photo of something that made you smile.
  • Consider using reminders to help you stay connected.

Don’t be afraid to open up

Lasting friendships grow from trust and emotional connection. Laughing together is great, but true closeness comes when you feel safe enough to share your hopes, worries, and challenges.

Start small—ask for advice or share a personal story. As trust builds, your friend will likely open up as well, deepening the bond.

Create shared experiences

Shared experiences strengthen friendships and give you memories to look back on.

Cook a meal together, go on a hike, join a class, or plan a day trip. You can also create small traditions—monthly pub quizzes, yearly catch-ups, or Sunday walks—to keep your friendship rooted in regular, enjoyable moments.

Build a diverse circle

It’s healthy to have different types of friends—through work, hobbies, community activities, or even online. Each relationship brings something unique.

Volunteering is also a great way to meet people with similar values. Do-it UK is a helpful place to start.

Accept that not all friendships last forever

Friendships change over time. People move, circumstances shift, or interests drift apart. That doesn’t mean a friendship wasn’t meaningful—it simply means it played its part in your life.

Focus on the quality of the friendships you have now, rather than the number.

Quick friendship tips

  • Send a message today – a quick “thinking of you” text can brighten someone’s day.
  • Schedule catch-ups – put a walk, call, or coffee date in the diary now.
  • Listen more – ask open questions and really tune in.
  • Do something together – try a new hobby, cook a meal, or play a game.
  • Share little moments – a funny meme, a photo, or a thought about a TV show you both love.
  • Be open – show trust by sharing how you’re really doing.

Starting friendships (how to get the ball rolling)

  • Be yourself – authenticity attracts the right people.
  • Make the first move – invite someone for coffee, a walk, or an activity.
  • Look for shared interests – hobbies, sports, volunteering, or classes create natural connection points.

Building friendships (deepening the connection)

  • Practise active listening – show genuine interest in what they share.
  • Share experiences – create memories through activities, trips, or traditions.
  • Open up gradually – let trust grow by sharing personal thoughts and being supportive.

Maintaining friendships (keeping them strong long-term)

  • Make time regularly – schedule catch-ups, even small ones.
  • Stay in touch in little ways – send messages, memes, or updates to show you’re thinking of them.
  • Be consistent and reliable – show up when you say you will and be someone they can count on.
  • Accept change gracefully – friendships evolve; focus on quality, not quantity.

Final thoughts

Long-lasting friendships don’t happen overnight—they grow from authenticity, shared experiences, trust, and consistency. By making small, intentional efforts to connect, you’ll nurture the relationships that make life richer, more joyful, and more resilient.

Be yourself, make the first move, and keep showing up. Those small actions often grow into friendships that last a lifetime.