Danny's story
Danny felt lost and hopeless after his relationship broke down and he was forced to move out of his family home, away from his children. He was struggling both emotionally and financially and needed some help...
Watch Danny's story“I’d been with my partner since I was 16 and we were childhood sweethearts, but our relationship broke down. One day, I was forced to leave home when I was locked out and the locks had been changed. I was lost and felt hopeless. I had no spare clothes, I had nothing.
“I was a blubbering mess and my mental health was on the floor. I’d been paying solicitors fees and spent what little money I had trying to resolve the situation. I was going to Citizens Advice for help and I’d had counselling from work but none of it helped or worked out as planned.
“Lockdown came and I was floating around trying to hold on to hope. I got nowhere - there seemed to be no help for a man in his 40s in my situation. I was worried about my children, I felt like I had failed them and failed as a man. I felt hopeless about my future, hopeless about everything.
“I went to live with my mum for a bit, trying to get the money together to rent my own place. After a little while, I managed to get enough money together to pay a rental deposit on a flat.
“One day, I looked in a drawer and I saw around 4 or 5 Helpline cards for Ben that I’d picked up from work at different times. I’d never got round to it before with everything else going on. This time, I thought, “you know what, I’ll give them a call”.
“As soon as I got in touch with Ben, I felt like I mattered, right from the word go. I felt like I was no longer alone and I was supported. I didn’t know where it was going to go but I could tell right away, I had made the right decision. I never expected to receive everything I’ve had - financial support, counselling and life coaching.
“During lockdown, the counselling started. I was all over the place at the time. I had six sessions of counselling over the phone and we made a connection. It was amazing, it was what I had been looking for initially but didn’t find with my previous counsellor. My counsellor was fantastic. I started feeling better and I perked up a little bit.
“I still had a lot of anxiety over money as I was in rent arrears. I was only on 80% pay due to furlough and bills had been mounting up. I had to make a decision to pay my rent or eat, so I ended up in rent arrears. I was hiding away from my finances and I was getting phone calls from the letting agent chasing me. It was such a worrying time. It was tough to say I needed help with money, but I knew I had to so that Ben could help me.
Danny's story
“With the help from Ben, I started feeling good, but I didn’t want to stand still or go backwards. So I started life coaching. This helped me to really pick myself up. It also helped me build my confidence. I feel fantastic now - I feel alive. The whole experience was so good that I’ve registered to do a life coaching course myself, as it helped me realise I want to help others. I’ve always wanted to help people, this is my future. I had originally wanted to be a counsellor, I’ve completed my level 2 and 3 counselling qualifications. So, I’ve come away from life coaching with a sense of achievement and purpose.
“The help from Ben meant the world to me. My mental health would have deteriorated massively without Ben and I could have lost my job. I wouldn’t like to think where I would have ended up.
“The support has given me the tools to move forward and the motivation to help other people now. I can write my own script. I feel a lot more grounded and optimistic, my future isn’t uncertain anymore. I’ve learned not to worry about things I have no control of. When things come up, I deal with them better and I live in the moment so much more. I’m not hiding away from responsibilities anymore, I’m trying to meet them head on. I jump out of bed each morning and there’s not enough hours in the day now.
“I look back at where I was before and where I am now and I pinch myself because of the difference in me. This time last year, my family said they were really worried about me and now they are so proud. I couldn’t have done this without Ben.
“I see men struggling every day. There seems to be less help out there for them, there’s a hole there, but Ben can help fill it. To anyone who thinks they need help right now, call Ben. I got support right from the word go. Make that call, you’ll be supported right away.”
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