Susan's story

“I was all over the place, I couldn’t settle - I was anxious and on edge all the time. I felt like everything I was doing was wrong and I was really lost, I didn’t know where to turn. I received an email through work from Ben, about Life Coaching. Initially, I wanted to find out about it to signpost my work colleagues to, but then I thought it might benefit me. Everything was a mess and I didn’t seem to be moving forward with anything; I was feeling stuck, lost and anxious. 

“When I got in touch with Ben, I felt listened to. Before, I’d always felt that people were dismissing me, so even though I was talking to someone I didn’t know, they listened to what I said. I couldn’t express what was wrong or how I was feeling, but because they listened, they could pick up on what was bothering me. They didn’t dismiss me.

“I didn’t know what to expect from coaching and I never thought it would have the effect that it has had on me. Coaching helped me identify what my issues were. We took one of my issues and came up with a plan to help me resolve it. I was acknowledged, given space to think about the problem, come up with a solution and put a plan in place to help. 

“Through coaching, I reached a safe space to say what I wanted to say rather than keeping it all inside. These were things I couldn’t say to other people for fear of rejection, being mocked or belittled. I felt supported and I could talk things over which I hadn’t had before. Someone was helping me identify my problems and find a path forward and, because it was a stranger, it didn’t matter what I said. I wasn’t worried about hurting other people’s feelings. We started with setting boundaries and building on my confidence.

“If it wasn’t for Ben, I’d have carried on chasing my tail in a circle, not knowing what to do. I was so wrapped up in trying to please other people, instead of doing what I wanted to do and saying what I wanted to say. I wouldn’t be where I am now without this support and I wouldn’t have been able to cope with things the way I have. It’s had such a big impact on the things I do. I’ve realised I needed some help to get to where I wanted to be, I don’t think I could have done this on my own. There was no judgement, I could say anything I wanted to say and I’m more open now.

“I’m a totally different person now, I’m more confident in myself and my own abilities. I’m not anxious. I’m nowhere near as needy and I’ve got boundaries in place which I’m happy with. I’m a lot stronger too as I was scared of doing things before - now if I want to do something, I do it.

“I’m also much more positive and know that I can do the things I put my mind to, whereas before I didn’t feel like that. If there’s something I want to do I’m more than capable of learning how to do it and succeeding with it. In the past I would feel anxious, think of the negatives and overthink. Now I’m not overthinking everything, I'm more capable of seeing things rationally and coping better. Before I would have tried to run away from things, but now I’m able to cope with challenging situations because I’m not afraid of them.”

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