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Noticing that a colleague isn't themselves is often the first step toward getting them help - but knowing what to say, or whether to say anything at all, can feel daunting. You don't need to be a mental health expert to make a difference. Often it's the small, consistent things - noticing, asking, listening - that matter most.

This guide isn't about diagnosing what's wrong - it's about what you can actually do: how to start a conversation without putting someone on the spot, how to keep supporting them day to day, what tends to help and what doesn't, and how to point them toward free, confidential support from Ben.

Noticing something's changed

 

You don't need a clinical checklist to justify checking in - a change from someone's usual pattern is reason enough. Maybe they've gone quiet, seem flatter than usual, or you've noticed more time off or missed shifts. Trust that observation rather than waiting for a "big enough" sign before you act.

If you want the fuller clinical picture - what depression is, what causes it, and how it's treated - that's covered in depth elsewhere; this guide focuses purely on what to do next as a colleague.

Read the full signs, causes and treatments of depression.

Starting the conversation

Most people worry about "saying the wrong thing." In practice, colleagues rarely resent being asked if you're genuine and give them room to answer honestly.

  • Pick a private, low-pressure moment - not in front of the whole team, and not right before a deadline.
  • Be specific and non-judgemental. Instead of "you seem off," try: "I've noticed you've seemed a bit quieter than usual lately - how are you doing, really?"
  • Ask twice. A first "I'm fine" is often a reflex. A gentle "I know, but I mean it - how are you actually doing?" gives permission to say more.
  • Listen more than you advise. You don't need to solve it. Letting someone talk without rushing to fix it is often the most useful thing you can do.
  • Don't diagnose. You're not there to label what they're going through - just to show you've noticed and you care.
  • Let silence do some of the work. Resist filling every pause - colleagues often say the most important thing after a gap, not straight away.

Ongoing, practical support

 

A single good conversation rarely fixes things on its own - it's what happens in the weeks after that tends to matter more.

  • Check in regularly, not just once - a five-minute "how's things?" every few days shows it wasn't a one-off.
  • Keep including them. Depression often pushes people to withdraw; a standing invite to lunch or a coffee break, with no pressure to accept, keeps the door open.
  • Be mindful with workload, where it's within your control - flagging to a manager if someone seems overwhelmed can help before things escalate.
  • Respect their pace. Some people want practical help, others just want someone to know. Follow their lead rather than pushing.
  • Follow up on small things. If they mentioned a tough appointment or a hard weekend, asking how it went shows you were actually listening, not just being polite in the moment.
  • Signpost, don't take over. You can point a colleague toward support without taking responsibility for fixing things yourself - that's what Ben is there for.

See how Ben supports colleagues and family, not just employees.

What to avoid

  • Don't minimise it - "everyone gets a bit down" can shut the conversation straight back down.
  • Don't push for details they haven't offered.
  • Don't make it about you - well-meant "I know how you feel" stories can crowd out their experience.
  • Don't set an ultimatum or deadline on when they should be "back to normal."
  • Don't go it alone if you're worried about safety. If a colleague talks about self-harm or suicide, that's the point to involve a manager, HR, or encourage them to call for help immediately - it's not something to manage one-to-one.

⚠️ If you believe a colleague is at immediate risk, or they mention thoughts of suicide or self-harm, encourage them to call Samaritans free on 116 123, or call 999 in an emergency.

Depression in the automotive industry

Ben's 2025 Annual Health & Wellbeing Survey of over 1,100 automotive workers found 41% reporting low mood and 33% experiencing feelings of depression in the past year. Long hours, physical strain, shift patterns and a culture that doesn't always encourage talking openly about mental health can make colleagues less likely to raise a hand - which is exactly why a workmate noticing and asking matters so much in this sector.

Read the full findings from Ben's 2025 survey.

How Ben can help

You don't need to have all the answers - Ben's support is free and confidential for anyone who works, or has worked, in the UK automotive industry, and their family dependants. Encourage your colleague to reach out, or get in touch yourself for guidance on supporting them.