Loneliness

Loneliness the ‘silent epidemic’

Are you feeling lonely? You're not the only one. In fact, millions of people in the UK feel lonely often, all or most of the time, with loneliness sometimes referred to as a ‘silent epidemic’.

Feeling lonely can also cause sadness, emptiness and distress about being by ourselves and disconnected from the world around us. There is, however, a difference between unwanted social isolation (loneliness) and social isolation, because some of us choose to be alone, yet don’t feel lonely.

According to the Campaign to End Loneliness, loneliness is: ‘a subjective, unwelcome feeling of lack or loss of companionship. It happens when there is a mismatch between the quantity and quality of the social relationships that we have, and those that we want’.

Unwanted social isolation is the real issue where we struggle to connect with others and it can affect any of us regardless of age. In fact, it's been reported that younger adults were more likely to report feeling lonely often, always or some of the time (27% of those aged 16 to 29 years and 28% of those aged 30 to 49 years), compared with older adults (19% of those aged 50 to 69 years and 16% of those aged 70 years and over).

Loneliness can often be the result of struggling to connect with people and developing relationships, which could be due to lack of confidence or self-esteem. Being lonely can also be triggered by a significant life event such as a bereavement, a relationship breakdown, a move to a new area or because of physical or mental health challenges. We can even feel lonely in a relationship or in a marriage. There isn’t a simple way to identify loneliness and it’s a very personal thing, so there’s no ‘one-size-fits-all’ way to tackle it.

We can also experience loneliness over a longer period of time or as a shorter-term issue. Either situation is uncomfortable and can have a knock-on effect on our overall health and wellbeing, with research finding that those of us who are lonely are more likely to suffer with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression.

While anyone can experience loneliness, certain risk factors increase the chances of more severe and ongoing loneliness which can affect our mental health. These include:

• Living alone
• Being single
• Losing a spouse or partner
• Being unemployed
• Living in rented accommodation
• Being a carer
• Being between 16 and 24 years old
• Having a disability or health condition 
• Being LGBTQIA+
• Being from an ethnic minority community.

One part of modern life that can cause us to feel lonely is the way we interact with each other. We live in such a digitally connected world, in which we might have a number of friends on social media, but what’s most important is the quality of our relationships, rather than the quantity of our online connections. It's important to focus on developing a couple of close relationships with people you trust and enjoy spending time with.

Feeling lonely is an awkward topic to discuss and we tend to feel ashamed to admit we have no-one to talk to and feel alone. But the truth is, even those who appear to be sociable and positive, can be hiding the fact they are lonely underneath it all.