Why do people feel lonely?

Loneliness is something many people experience at different points in life and can stem from a variety of causes, including life changes, moving away from friends and family, loss of relationships, or a lack of self-connection. Understanding why you feel lonely — what is missing and how you'd like things to be different — is the first step toward addressing it.

What is the best way to deal with loneliness?

There is no single cure for loneliness, but practical steps that can help include reflecting on your feelings, reconnecting with yourself and your interests, focusing on quality relationships rather than quantity, meeting new people through groups and clubs, pursuing hobbies, volunteering, learning new skills, and looking after your mental wellbeing. Ben offers free, confidential support for automotive industry workers struggling with loneliness — call 08081 311333.

Can technology help with loneliness?

Technology can help you stay connected, particularly through video calls and messaging apps like WhatsApp, FaceTime, and Zoom, which can nurture long-distance friendships. However, it is important to use it in a balanced way — using social media to find local groups and reconnect with friends, while avoiding endless scrolling or comparing yourself to others, which can worsen feelings of loneliness.

How can volunteering help with loneliness?

Volunteering gives a sense of purpose, creates regular social interaction, and helps build community networks. It combines meaningful activity with the opportunity to meet new people, making it one of the most effective ways to reduce loneliness while also contributing positively to your community.

Where can I get support if loneliness is affecting my mental health?

Ben offers free, confidential support for anyone who works or has worked in the UK automotive industry. If loneliness is affecting your mental health, you can call 08081 311333, chat online at ben.org.uk, or access SilverCloud — a free digital mental health platform with programmes to help manage wellbeing.

Two people sitting on a flight of stairs chatting to tackle loneliness

Top tips to tackle loneliness

Loneliness is something many people experience at different points in life. There’s no magic cure, but by understanding why you feel lonely and taking proactive steps, you can reconnect with yourself, others, and your community.

1. Understand what loneliness means to you

Before taking action, spend time reflecting on your situation:

Why do you feel lonely?
What do you feel is missing in your life?
How would you like things to be different?
Which aspects of your social life do you want to improve?

Understanding your feelings helps you take focused steps to address them.

2. Reconnect with yourself

Loneliness often stems from a lack of self-connection. Ask yourself:

What motivates me?
What are my passions and interests?
What kind of people do I want around me?

Spending time understanding yourself can give clarity about the relationships and activities that will bring the most fulfilment.

3. Focus on quality, not quantity

It’s the quality of your relationships that matters, not the number of friends.

Spend time with people who make you feel valued and supported.
Let go of relationships that drain your energy.
Invest in meaningful conversations rather than superficial interactions.

4. Use technology wisely

Technology can help you stay connected, but it’s important to use it in a balanced way:

Tip	How It Helps
Social media positively	Use it to reconnect with friends or find local groups, but aim to meet face-to-face rather than staying purely online
Messaging & video calls	Apps like WhatsApp, FaceTime, Skype, and Zoom allow you to nurture long-distance friendships
Set boundaries	Avoid endless scrolling or comparing yourself to others, which can worsen feelings of loneliness

5. Meet new people

Actively seeking social connections can reduce loneliness:

Community groups & events: Websites like Meetup feature events ranging from sports to arts and learning.
Start your own group: If there’s nothing in your area, consider hosting a club, class, or casual meetup around a shared interest.
Join clubs or teams: Sports teams, exercise classes, dance groups, or hobby clubs provide structured ways to meet people regularly.

6. Learn something new

Learning provides structure, purpose, and social opportunities:

Take a course in photography, language, cooking, or another skill.
Platforms like Udemy, FutureLearn, and local adult education centres offer online and in-person options.
Shared learning experiences create natural opportunities to meet like-minded people.

7. Pursue hobbies and interests

Engaging in activities you enjoy is a proven way to reduce loneliness:

Activity	How It Helps
Volunteering	Gives purpose, social connection, and builds community networks
Exercise classes or sports teams	Improves physical health and introduces you to regular social groups
Creative hobbies	Art, music, photography, and writing offer self-expression and opportunities to meet others
Clubs or societies	Book clubs, gaming groups, or local community organisations provide structured social engagement

Tip: Revisit childhood hobbies or past interests as a starting point for activities you might enjoy now.

8. Strengthen existing relationships

Regularly reach out to friends or family by phone, text, or video chat.
Arrange coffee meet-ups, walks, or casual lunches.
Be proactive – sometimes others are also feeling lonely and happy to connect.

9. Look after your mental wellbeing

Combatting loneliness also involves taking care of your mental health:

Mindfulness and meditation can reduce negative thinking patterns.
Journaling can help you reflect on feelings and progress.
Ben offers free, confidential support for automotive workers struggling with loneliness, stress, or mental health concerns: call 08081 311 333.

Summary

Loneliness is common, but it can be reduced through self-reflection, social engagement, and pursuing activities that bring joy and connection.

Key actions:

Understand your feelings and what you want from relationships.
Reconnect with yourself and your interests.
Prioritise quality relationships.
Use technology to complement, not replace, face-to-face interactions.
Seek social opportunities through clubs, volunteering, or learning.
Engage in hobbies and regular activities that bring you joy.
Maintain and strengthen existing friendships.
Look after your mental wellbeing and seek support when needed.

Loneliness action table

Practical ways to reconnect with yourself and others

Action	How It Helps	Examples / Tips
Reflect on your feelings	Understand why you feel lonely	Journal about what you feel is missing and what you want to change
Reconnect with yourself	Clarify your interests and motivations	Identify hobbies or activities that excite you; set personal goals
Focus on quality relationships	Improves emotional connection	Spend time with people who make you feel valued and supported
Use technology positively	Maintain connections when distance is a factor	Video calls, WhatsApp, or messaging; avoid endless scrolling on social media
Meet new people	Expand social circle	Attend events via Meetup, join a club, or start your own group
Pursue learning & hobbies	Builds purpose and social opportunities	Online courses (Udemy, FutureLearn), creative activities, sports teams
Volunteer locally	Combines purpose with social interaction	Community groups, charities, mentoring programs
Strengthen existing relationships	Keeps connections alive	Regular calls, walks, coffee meet-ups, or shared activities
Mind your mental health	Supports emotional resilience	Meditation, journaling, Ben helpline 08081 311 333, mindfulness apps
Get active	Improves mood and opportunities to socialise	Walking groups, gym classes, team sports